i found myself lost... once more... how could it be, that after all this time... subconsciously, im still thinking about him? he's there... lingering in the shadows of my thought... waiting for the right moment to rear his ugly, yet... so angelic face in my predicament... oh, am i cursed? to forever hold on to his memory, that i in the first place have absolutely no business of holding on to? as time immemorial has proven... you are not over this kid... until you get closure. confrontation has always been your herald of letting go... and, after all this time... you've been in denial all along, telling yourself that you're over him. and yet, at the slightest thought of him... you cringe, get weak in the knees, melt like jello, and you end up wanting to dial his home number to call him... how sad is it? that whenever you are reminded of him, you are incomplete... he's the one guy you can't land, and the one guy you want to land the most... but, with him, there's more to landing... with him, you are whole, not half... with you in his arms, lying safe with him... you are born again. but fate has never been so kind to let your paths cross once more... and once you do, what would you say? how would you act? hope for the best, prepare for the worst... never, yet again... this is the future of your past, present ever m0re... throw your heart out the window...