single and fabulous? (with carrie's voice inside my head)

i have always been known as the person who never misses out on things. whether they be social gatherings, latest trends, or for this matter... romance. but if there's one true thing that i know about myself, it's that i'm not exactly the person other people think that i am. i could be missing out on some of life's coolest events and i wouldn't know it myself. try this... how many movies have i put off seeing until they weren't being shown in the cinemas anymore? let's see... a lot!?! there's hellboy, torque, dirty dancing 2, and troy... 'nuff said? and don't even get me started with the movies last season! right now, i'm just so thankful for DVD. try, concerts. there was F4. (but of course not too many people in my circle would have gone or could have afforded it, so...) incubus? not really my kind of music though... and then, there's the black eyed peas. completely affordable, do-able, but missed it. but after reading the review about the concert, i'm kinda thankful we didn't go... so, i think that would cover the social events calendar. excluding, of course, the manila gigs and shows. 'coz after all, i'm on vacation here. and what about the local scene? well, been to a few. but then again, going out hasn't been doing so well for you, has it? now... let's discuss romance. have i been missing out? or have i just not found the right guy? not THE right guy. just, RIGHT now anyway. but, seriously... i'm in a major slump here. and if it weren't for my mind blowing sexual episode with my fuck buddy a couple of nights ago, then i'd be a major loser! i'm saying loser, in the context of me supposed to be not being a loser. in all honesty... i haven't had a steady boyfriend in all my life. it's always been me chasing after someone, or playing hide and seek, or just getting laid... but it's all either daunting, or empty... i mean, the sex is great and all, but i'm looking for somethin' greater than that. and i may have a potential candidate in one kid, (no! not who you're thinking!) but with the way we got started, makes me think twice about his real standing. that's me... the guy who's not supposed to have missed out on anything. and this is me, the guy who's not exactly the guy who's not supposed to have missed out on anything. (try reading that last phrase again, it's a mouthful.) i once told a friend that i'm still waiting for the right guy, but you and i both know better... it's a big fat lie. and now, i stand somewhere between single and fabulous, question mark... and single and fabulous, period. what if i'm just telling myself this? what if i'm not even fabulous? what if i am, just... single. period.