have you ever wondered how it is to look at yourself from your lover's eyes? that if you say that you love them so... can they say that they love you as much as you love them? not that i'm bitter or anything... but... it just occurred to me... that i am caught between the shadow of my lover, and the image of the one i love... what i do to the one who loves me... the one i love mirrors to me... unloved? yes.... maybe.... but how ironic it is that i long for him, and someone else longs for me the way i do to for the one i love... you may be getting confused here... but 'tis the true predicament that i am in... a conundrum, nevertheless, that i so resent... all i have to ask of him is to release me... just like someone else asked me to do so for him... i am but a fly trapped in a spider's web... caught in the maw of love's passing, depressed existence... loving, unloved... dead to my own life... angst...

just got back home from the cinema... saw a movie... 'twas nice... (stuck on you) very heart warming... especially the last part... wish i could have someone like that... someone who couldn't live without me, nor i without him... this is my first blog, by the way... and it couldn't be any better... found out today that my special someone got into friendster... my world with him is getting smaller as it gets bigger... (i have a knack for oxymorons, bear with me...) it just doesn't get any better than that... of course, i didn't add him... the offer was tempting and seductive, but no thanks... :) not really in the mood to crash and burn one more time... :) moonriver... now there's a song... quite a favorite of mine... :) "we're after the same rainbow's end, waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend.... moonriver, and me..." i wonder where my huckleberry friend has gone off to... must'a been blogging around... :)